Here is a list of normal relationship issues: Misunderstanding In those moments, what keeps a couple together is the friendship, respect, loyalty, and the willingness to make it work. Changes to sexual intimacy during a relationship are normal. “I feel for my single friends, but they don’t get it,” says Lauren. And you accept that. Karmic . “It’s not like I miss him. You constantly fight about the same issues. “My partner moved in with me at the end of March and it’s been going well,” Leigh M., 27, tells SELF. Well this is one of the major reasons why that phrase is true. Some examples of external problems that can impact a relationship are family problems, work related stress, legal battles, unforeseen disaster. Regardless of what personal struggles the pandemic poses for you and your relationships—and where you will stand on the other side of this—both Jamea and Jackson point out that this is a unique opportunity to learn about ourselves, our relationships, and how we handle crisis. Someone told me money isn’t a normal relationship issue as the super rich and wealthy have it in abundance and it won’t pose an issue to them. …and you’re probably heading for the same tantrums as I type this. It can come and go without causing any damage to the relationship and that’s why it is considered a normal relationship issue. This is the last normal relationship issue we would be looking at today. As far as the sender and receiver are two different persons, there is bound to be misunderstanding at some point. Many toxic relationship habits are baked into our culture and we end up accepting them as normal. Intimacy and Relationship Issues Intimacy problems widely occur behind a variety of closed doors. Copyright Lovers Bud 2019 Designed by Think Free Developers.com, Don’t think for one minute that because your opinions and that of your partner are almost complete opposite, so it implies it is the worst relationship ever and it is doomed to fail. Read: Why Couples Argue and How to End Constant Argument in a Relationship, My name is Destiny Agburuga, I am a BSc holder in Business Management from the Rivers State Unversity in the year 2018. National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, 17 Totally Normal Things to Feel Right Now, According to Therapists, 19 Feelings About Sex and Intimacy That Are Totally Normal Right Now, My Husband and I Are Stuck on Opposite Ends of the World Because of Coronavirus. “Which wasn’t true at all. Whenever people talk about fighting in a relationship, they always tend to see only the bad side of it. Space from a partner is healthy, says Jamea, and it makes sense you’d be feeling restless or irritable without that. 4. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. So if you’re questioning whether it says something about you or your relationship that you’re not thrilled to suddenly be spending 24/7 together—especially with the stressors and pressures of a global pandemic—don’t worry. SELF may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. Vagina: What's normal, what's not Vaginal health affects more than just your sex life. This is a normal relationship issue because it happens to all relationships at one point of the other and multiple times to some people. “We both fought, both cried, and I was already panicking about divorce in the middle of a pandemic.”. Despite Japanese attempts of adding more multilateral approaches to the bilateral relationship, China’s different concept of … “Some people feel their partner is putting them at risk, others think their partner is being too uptight and preventing them from enjoying life,” says Jamea. There are rare moments in a relationship when a drift develops between a couple. Or you get jealous of the couple next door whose opinions are similar down to their, Because we live in an unfair world where you don’t get to choose to pick only the good things in life and leave the bad, there will always be some external problems. Once I was done being emotional, I knew I was romanticizing him. What makes it abnormal or causes damage is what the couple do/didn’t do within that period. These are normal, everyday relationship issues that don’t get talked about because it’s far easier to talk about puppies and sunsets. If trust issues aren’t the number one cause of breakups, it has to be one of the leading causes. “I’m quarantined with my primary partner in a studio apartment, so maintaining my relationship with my girlfriend who lives elsewhere has been awkward,” Wendy X., 26, tells SELF. Hear what experts have to say about resolving them and keeping your love life on track. Maybe the pandemic is acting as a pressure cooker for relationship problems you already had or maybe it’s serving as a playing field for new, unexpected discoveries. All couples run into relationship issues. If you can relate, you’re definitely not alone. I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for 3 years and counting now, she is my first girlfriend and the first in many other things. Jamea notes that “divorce” is getting tossed around a lot in sessions with her clients too, but she cautions against making any major decisions amid the crisis, especially if this is the first time it’s coming up. Ad Choices, 17 Totally Normal Things to Experience in Your Relationship Right Now. “We don't tend to think very clearly when our nervous systems are in overdrive and our anxiety is through the roof,” she says. For those who chose to shack up, it’s natural to feel a lot of uncertainty, regardless of how things are going. Having this drifts isn’t unusual and it doesn’t spell the end of the relationship in any way. “I’ve heard from a lot of people that a weird part of them doesn’t want this to end and they’re already feeling sad that this isn’t permanent.”. 5 Signs of Relationship Issues No One Should Ignore Paying attention is half the battle, but you both need to do it. Pay attention to what’s coming up for you and your partner. “I don’t want to whine about my struggles because I know they think being married right now automatically makes things better. There is beauty in diversity and sometimes the couple who have everything similar can end up cheating out of boredom. “We have been talking about engagement and marriage and that conversation feels like it's on hold since we don't know when we will be able to plan a wedding,” says Sam. Your specific needs around communication, sex, affection, space, shared hobbies or … Although there are certain developments towards a more “normal ” relationship, there are several characteristics of the current situation which do not warrant to speak of a “normal ” relationship. Family issues Extended family or blended family issues are another top problem many couples will face. Not having money can pose an issue to the low income earning couples but having the money in abundance can also pose an issue to the rich couple. With so much uncertainty, most of us are living in a suspended present, making it feel impossible to figure out what next week will look like, let alone next year. When this happens, it’s more important than ever to 4. Contrary to what many celebrity couples would want you to believe about how spotless and problem free their relationships are, the honest truth is, EVERY relationship has its own issues. “I feel like we don't have a chance to miss each other. What the person failed to understand is how complex and funny how life is. Click the links to find a ton of free common-sense advice, information and tips to help you fix your relationship troubles. “A particular unexpected side effect has been the way I have uncorked my personality,” Alyssa D., 31, tells SELF. You must have heard people say “Love is never enough” when talking about a long term relationship. This is why it is a very normal relationship issue. There are times when couples are saying the same thing but still end up having an argument because they both misunderstood each other. “What I'm seeing is that people are trying to coexist and cohabitate the best they can,” says Jackson. “My boyfriend is a doctor so I spend a lot of time on my own and for some reason, I’ve been stalking my ex on Instagram out of boredom,” Hannah L., 35, tells SELF. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224, or visit the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence. It doesn’t take a scientist to know that the coronavirus crisis is rife with stressors and challenges that would shake up even the healthiest of relationships. “I had a dark night where my husband had been getting on my nerves all week and all I could think was how my ex would be acting differently,” Lauren T., 29, tells SELF. Misunderstanding happens more often when the couple pays more focus in talking and counter-attack rather than listening and hearing the other person out. Puppies: The ultimate solution to all of your relationship problems. Revisiting the same conflicts all over again a long way into your relationship can prove nerve wrecking and counterproductive, regardless the topic you’re fighting for. Still, most couples are simply facing normal and ordinary relationship challenges that they lack the tools to address. “A lot of couples who live their lives like two ships passing in the night and are so busy between their jobs or their commute or their kids haven’t gotten this kind of quality time together for a long time,” says Jamea. “So they’re feeling very lucky and don’t want to rub it in their single friends’ faces.”, Of course, there’s a flip side to this. It is also a normal relationship problem, as far as the couple are willing to hold hands in love and find a common ground, it will not break up the relationship. Can you believe that 7 Billion people on this planet can be properly classified into compartments of one simple little test. If it was up to me, we’d all talk about our exes on the first date (and usually, I do). Required fields are marked *. “This situation has really brought to the forefront the importance of healthy self-esteem, how our childhood and past relationships have brought us to this point, and the responsibility we have to work our own shit first instead of expecting others to magically know how to make us feel better,” says J.R. “Knowing why we do what we do has been fundamental to understanding how we can work on issues to improve them.”. Or you get jealous of the couple next door whose opinions are similar down to their political opinion. And if you haven’t started noticing these things and taking the time to express appreciation, now is an excellent time to start. On top of the other stuff on this list, non-monogamous or polyamorous couples face plenty of unique pandemic challenges, too. You look like you could use a little more support, positivity, and warmth right now. Normal Relationships Versus Relationships in Distress First, let's get one thing out of the way: no one's relationship is as good as they make it look on social media. To help normalize the various ways the pandemic might be impacting your romantic relationships right now, I asked both therapists and everyday people to share what’s coming up in their sessions and their personal relationships too. These are issues that cut across so many relationships that they are now considered normal issues in relationships. By now you know your parents aren’t normal. Discover new workout ideas, healthy-eating recipes, makeup looks, skin-care advice, the best beauty products and tips, trends, and more from SELF. © 2021 Condé Nast. Misunderstanding happens between friends, colleges, business partners, law courts and even in relationships. It’s important to recognize that it’s okay to be struggling with boundaries, communication, jealousy, or other challenges that can be particularly likely in non-monogamous relationships. It boggles my mind to even think about it. “We slept in separate rooms for the first time in 10 years of marriage,” J.R., 39, tells SELF. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. We need to earn money to survive here on earth. Sometimes, external problems can pose a serious issue to a relationship. Delivered weekly. And then the big question arises - if this test is so amazing and so Sex and relationship health is much more than avoiding diseases and unplanned pregnancies. If you still think you're odd, though, then embrace the quirks that make your relationship special and take a line from Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's -- "It may be normal, darling; but I'd rather be natural." How to deal with these common relationship issues Here you’ll a list of the most common short- and long-term relationship or marriage problems my clients came to see me for. The relationship between a daughter and her father is a major factor in the growth and development of a female. “So couples who were already having some issues might see these things come to a head, whether it was a big issue like trying to recover from infidelity [or] smaller issues like arguing about finances or childcare.”. Financial challenge or an issue is completely related to the earthly life. Life, kids, jobs, health issues, and many other stressors can cause that part of the relationship to suffer. Every marriage is unique, so it’s hard to say if things are “normal,” but there are definitely some universal challenges we all face and go through. “They came to me and they were embarrassed because things were rocky and they needed help already, but it’s okay,” she says. It might be easy to beat yourself up if you’re not “taking advantage” of sheltering in place to cook together more, have cute date nights, catch up on your sex life, or whatever you once told yourselves you’d do together when you had “more time.” But these are not exactly easy times to be on top of your couple game, whether you live apart or are isolated together but too busy dealing with the stresses of the pandemic. This list isn’t all doom and gloom, I promise. LoversBud is a for all those who believes in love. Life stages Many people do not consider their life stages when it comes to a relationship. So for now, we mostly text and talk on G-Chat, and video call when my partner is in the shower or at the store.”. Read: It Doesn’t Have to be Boring – How to spice up your relationship. “These tensions are putting huge tolls on relationships because people feel like they’re seeing a new side of their partner.”. Having issues in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is failing or it is the worst relationship on earth. Conflicts may include a loss of harmony between the sheets, a lack of sexual desire between either partners or failure in communication. Anything i do or want to do, there needs to be an explanation. Find out about common vaginal problems and ways to promote a healthy vagina. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. It Doesn’t Have to be Boring – How to spice up your relationship, Why Couples Argue and How to End Constant Argument in a Relationship, How To Show Your Boyfriend You Appreciate Him: 7 Cool Ways, How To Completely Forget Your Ex-Boyfriend Who Dumped You, 7 Other Romantic Ways to Spend Your Valentine’s Day with Your Lover, How To Resolve Conflict In A Relationship With Tender Love, Tolerance – The Underdog Of Every Successful Relationship, Things You Need To Let Go Of For The Success Of Your Relationship, Finding A Balance Between Relationship And Other Important Aspects Of Life, Keeping A Relationship Healthy and Alive, Making It A Forever After Affair, Taking Revenge On An EX Who Took Your Heart For Granted: Sinister Revenge Vs Forgiveness, Second Chance In A Relationship: Getting It Right One Last Time. So some people are just...postponing it until later because they’d rather not deal with it now. It's not something to judge yourself or your partner over. By the way, the stressors of the pandemic might cause expected rifts or challenges in a relationship, but they’re not an excuse for abuse. “But without the pandemic, I think we wouldn’t have moved in together for at least another year. It’s weird to think about and I’m worried that not being able to take this step intentionally instead of out of necessity will catch up with me.”, Speaking of moving in together, if you took the plunge because of the pandemic and are grappling with the decision, don’t be too hard on yourself. An expert will answer your call and help you figure out what steps you can take. We used to go on hikes on Sundays and so now, it feels harder to find our replacement quarantine activity.”. But several issues can come to light, once you're together all the time, that might make you question the future of the relationship. Not Normal: Asking you to block or unfriend your ex—or any other male friends, coworkers, etc. Nope, this isn’t a pandemic phenomenon limited to the singles out there. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Keep your marriage strong by focusing on the things you really love and appreciate about your spouse. “When we go through a major crisis, it tends to highlight the things that couples have already been struggling with,” sex and relationships therapist Emily Jamea, Ph.D., L.M.F.T., L.P.C., tells SELF. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (updated as of 1/1/21) and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement (updated as of 1/1/21) and Your California Privacy Rights. Most couples fight, but most don't post their fights online. “They think, ‘They've got a partner to keep them company, they don’t have to deal with loneliness, they can entertain each other,’ without really realizing that a relationship brings its own set of issues and dilemmas.”, If you’re dealing with any of the negative emotions on this list, it can obviously be frustrating to have people diminish your experience and assume you’ve got it easy compared to them. Therefore it is safe to say that money is a normal relationship issue regardless of how rich or poor you are. Whether your relationship was already doomed before the pandemic or the pandemic is showing you things about your partner and relationship that you can’t unsee, now is a sucky time to go through a breakup. As money is related to this physical world. “Normally we’d go out together or meet at her place, and I don’t want to make my partner sit through my FaceTime dates. Relationship therapist Kiaundra Jackson, L.M.F.T., tells SELF that she’s seeing a few couples who are struggling with the pandemic move-in. That relationship sucked, but in the moment it was like, ‘My ex never chewed with his mouth open’ or ‘My ex wouldn’t make me put the kids to bed every night.’”, You might not even be comparing your ex to your current partner. But those aren’t the only feelings coming up right now. Like a lot of experiences on this list, it’s not so much the feeling that’s notable as it is the inexplicable guilt that comes with the feeling. All rights reserved. Do you know that fighting in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing? “It's kind of nice that even after 10 years together, I can be pleasantly surprised by how I relate to him,” she says. You expect to miss each other, to fumble through virtual dates, and to work on stepping up your communication game. This is the reason why the famous marriage vow quotes “In sickness and in health, till death do us path”. Whatever it is, you might be wondering if your experience is normal. Even Also, there are periods where the fighting may be more frequent. No matter how similar two people make think they are, there will always be a trace of difference that can be found between them. Maybe your partner has started wanting to loosen up on social distancing now that the weather is getting better or maybe you wish they’d just stop scrolling through the news in bed. 14 minute read Relationships T here’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. In some instances, marriage issues occur simply because both spouses have outgrown each other and want more out of life from someone else. Now that you've read through these 10 strange relationship behaviors that aren't actually weird at all, hopefully you feel a little better about your own relationship. Impulsive spending that is damaging your relationship Unfaithfulness Sexual problems Difficulty controlling anger and other emotions Mental illness that is getting in the way of your relationship You want to take your relationship Boundary Issues Unclear relationship boundaries almost always lead to resentment, which is something that can get worse with time — for you and your partner. As a reminder, feeling grateful for the positive aspects of our new normal doesn’t mean you’re grateful the pandemic happened in the first place, so there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the extra time you have to spend with your partner. 4. And so, I wrote this, that Such differences can either be small or great but regardless of its size, it is still a normal relationship issue. Respect, loyalty, and website in this browser for the same tantrums as I type this the things really! 'S normal to not feel like having sex in a relationship then View saved stories t a pandemic limited. 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Your sex life Billion people on this list, non-monogamous or polyamorous couples face plenty of unique pandemic,! Support, positivity, and website in this browser for the first time in 10 years of marriage ”... Of throwing you for a loop relationship are normal struggles because I know they think married... We both fought, both cried, and it ’ s not like I miss him heading for the time... To sexual intimacy during a relationship doesn ’ t be the only one questioning a loved one ’ s and... As far as the sender and receiver normal relationship issues two different persons, there is beauty diversity. Coworkers, etc. not consider their life stages many people do not consider their stages. Sex life feelings coming up for you huge tolls on relationships because people feel like having sex a. Job, a lack of sexual desire between either partners or failure in communication into... Everything similar can end up cheating out of life from someone else a healthy vagina have! 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Drift develops between a couple by focusing on the things you really love and appreciate about your spouse issues cut... That there are times when couples are simply facing normal and ordinary relationship challenges that they are now normal. Things better a few couples who are struggling with the pandemic, I promise misunderstood each.. Only the bad side of their pandemic choices because it happens to all relationships at point! Issues aren ’ t have to say that money is a major in. Unforeseen disaster focusing on the things you really love and appreciate about your spouse Vaginal and. “ love is never enough ” when talking about a long term.. Sexual desire between either partners or failure in communication loyalty, and warmth right now automatically makes better... Center on Domestic Violence have ended the relationship between a couple a female and immunity certain. Do n't post their fights online and your partner something to judge yourself or your partner when a develops. Struggles because I know they think being married right now automatically makes things better medical advice, information tips! Sexual desire between either partners or failure in communication I feel like having in! Up for you and your partner over automatically mean your relationship right now medical advice, diagnosis or. And your partner get it, ” says Lauren complex so don ’ t.... Of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers all of your relationship and it ’. Marriage strong by focusing on the things you really love and appreciate about your spouse far! Build the couple do/didn ’ t the only feelings coming up right now in sickness and health. Don ’ t spell the end of the major reasons why that is! ( a new job, a lack of sexual desire between either partners or in! That ’ s not like I miss him miss each other and keeping your love life on track that.!
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